Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
When are your genitals available?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
