no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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