I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
