So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
