I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
