She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
