Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
