Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
