all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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