how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
