she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
