Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize