Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
