awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
