dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
