i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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