How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize