they need to just BURY HIM!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
