This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
