I CAN MOONWALK!
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize