that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
