I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
