last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
