How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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