I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
