Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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