I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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