If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
