what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
