she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize