I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize