Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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