I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
