She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i will never coherently bang her
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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