Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
