What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
