we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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