Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize