ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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