Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
