fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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