I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
