Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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