shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
