You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
