I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
