You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
