Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
