Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh god it's open bar.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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