you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
