so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
