every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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