you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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