Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
