Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
