i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
